Take a Beat w/ Platonic Love Songs & A Tour of Sienna Miller's Countryside Cottage

On 5/29/24 we are appreciating our besties and family with love songs, feeling eerily seen on Broadway, and de-deviling deviled eggs.

This weekend my friend and I arrived at a party in Brooklyn at 2:45 PM. Per the invitation, the party had started at 2 PM, but we found we were only the 3rd and 4th guests to arrive, and one of the hosts remarked…

“You’re still pretty early…” - party host who doesn’t understand time

but factually we were not!!! That was after attempting to brunch on 9th Ave at 11:45 AM only to find that the many (often lively) restaurants were DEAD.

Many visits and 5 months of residency in, and the social clock of NYC remains the biggest mystery to me!!!

TL;DR

• The final May newsletter means a finalized May Take a Beat playlist!

• Calling and all active musical artists to create more songs about platonic love and all Take a Beat followers to comment their favorite platonic love songs for my meager The Power of Platonic Love playlist

• Illinoise will DEFINITELY inspire you if you’re a queer man from the Midwest who loves indie music and thinks there’s nothing more sacred than a beautiful album (AND will probably inspire you if you’re… not that)

• The magic of the Architectural Digest (“AD”, if you’re in the know) “Inside” video explored through my top 5 hall-of-famers

• Deviled eggs minus the deviling, just for you <3

• Bits & Bobs from Twitter

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Can You Sub that Sub Genre Some More?

I Love You Like a (Platonic) Love Song

My sister Maddie just graduated high school (a year early #flex), bringing me homeward to KC for the first time in 5 months to celebrate. This trip gave me approx. 72 hours to live in the love of my family and close friends whom I’ve missed so dearly, and goddammit if I didn’t maximize my window of time; upon flying home my cup runneth over with the gratification and zeal for life that only those who see into your soul so clearly can provide.

When such emotional fulfillment can be found in a takeout lunch with your bestie (s/o Jordan), over too sweet margaritas and questionable service with your squad (s/o Allen, Jess, Zack), or roaming a park walking a wonderfully psycho dog with your sister (s/o Maddie and Tofu), why are there not more songs about the power of platonic love?

Each of them are worthy of 800 songs

This is a question I have been asking and researching with my favorite artists for years. My thesis comes in the form of a playlist that currently consists of a mere 23 songs with a meager 1h 23 min runtime, including only songs I love by artists I love who are brave enough to stray from the topic of romantic follies and fulfillment to write about their family, chosen and otherwise.

And now I am enlisting you to join in my research and comment with your favorite songs celebrating platonic love. Let’s level this playlist up from its current skimpy state to one that reflects the remarkable power and beauty of your bestie.

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Man About Town

Illinoise @ St. James Theatre

While I have never met nor do I know anything about Justin Peck besides what you see above (Illinoise - “Story and Directed and Choreographed By”), I identify deeply with Justin Peck and his endeavor to indulge endlessly in his senti, indie-boy hyperfixation. A small difference might be that whereas I indulge with this newsletter and through conversations with friends and online research, Justin is able to do so with an entire Broadway production…

Illinoise is a concept musical based on a concept album. The album is Sufjan Stevens’ Illinois (no “e” at the end), and its concept is that every song is based on characters and events based in the state of, yes, Illinois. Then Justin Peck took that album and made a musical where the characters and events are inspired by the album Illinois with no dialogue and the only music being the songs from Illinois.

Illinois (2005)

It is concept indulgence crossed with nerd indulgence multiplied by self indulgence by all creators involved.

And the product is astonishing. The band handily tackles the singular, symphonic music of Sufjan, while innovating on it with 3 alternating lead vocalists. The stories are tactile enough to comprehend but abstract enough to allow for projection by the viewer. The balletic choreography is loose and masterful, maintaining a sense of whimsy while taking your breath away with the dancers’ athleticism.

In the musical we have a Sufjan Stevens stand-in named Henry, a young, queer man from the Midwest, who at one point takes a trip with his best friend to NYC only to abandon that friend in favor of a handsome, tall black man. To which I say, “feel that”.

And at the production level we have Justin Peck, who so deeply loved an early aughts indie album that he developed an entire musical, complete with a live 14-piece band and a 15-person cast of professional dancers and actors, based on this album. To which I also say, “feel that”.

It is a rare piece of art that not only inspired at the story level but also at the execution level; the themes and lessons in the story resonated deeply, as did the passion and expertise required to produce such a wonderful piece of art.

So now, in a post-Illinoise viewing world, I am left wondering things like -

• Who is creating the Women in Music Pt. III movie inspired by the titular album from Haim? Clear the streets of LA, because we are WALKING in them.

• What about the Money Store musical inspired by the Death Grips debut studio album? I say it’s about time there’s a Broadway musical where the audience gets to MOSH!!!

• Or the Modern Vampires of the City musical based on the Vampire Weekend magnum opus? An opportunity for skinny fratty white boys in boat shoes to improve their reputation through DANCE!

If I’ve learned anything from Justin Peck and his singular endeavor to create something new from an album so personal to him, it’s that when you love a piece of art enough, it behooves you to share that passion with the world, enriching all those who witness it.

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Where Your Voyeurism is Welcome

My 5 Favorite Architectural Digest “Inside” Videos of All Time

If you don’t know about Architectural Digest’s “Inside” tours of celebrity homes, then you have never been to a pregame with me and my boys. Luckily, Take a Beat is here to educate you on this great American art form. Queue any of these 5 up, and you will be transported to places where things are odd and beautiful and the stakes are lower than Sienna Miller’s original 1500s ceilings.

5. Inside Sienna Miller’s Secluded Country Cottage

Sienna Miller is (supposedly) a British actress who has starred in American classics like G.I. Joe: The Rise of the Cobra and Layer Cake. But anyways enough about this fake woman’s supposed career, let’s talk about her 16th century thatched roof “cottage”, which is likely the only landmark trusted property to be shown on AD. They say limitations breed creativity, and since Sienna Miller has to protect the history of the house, there’s been a lot of creativity.

people were shorter in the 1500s

4. Inside Chloe Fineman’s Paris-Inspired New York Home

Chloe Fineman KNOWS it is an honor to have her (beautiful) NYC rental toured on AD. And she honors us, the viewers, by bringing in bits, referencing Paris multiple times, and by being generally elated to host us.

3. Inside Dominic West’s Castle Home

Dominic West is no Enya, which is to say that he does not have the artistic output nor the mystique to warrant (or likely afford) a whole-ass CASTLE. BUT, he is devilishly handsome, and he is married to an Irish woman named Catherine whose ancestral home is Glin Castle. We get a two-hander tour here complete with tales of 1600s debauchery and ghost stories in what is likely an advertisement for people to stay at the estate… so, which is higher art, the castle or this AD video? You know where I stand.

2. Inside Dakota Johnson’s Serene Hollywood Home

Not to be dramatic, but this video belongs in the Library of Congress. And not because it is a source of historical truth, but rather because it is a source of historical LIES. Many things Dakota shares in this video have since been proven untrue, as have all kinds of other things she’s said. Protect her and her outdoor table constructed from Winston Churchill’s boat (lie) at all cost.

1. Inside Liv Tyler’s Gut-Renovated NYC Brownstone

As you may have noticed reading the list thus far, the most hallowed AD videos do not live on because of the homes being toured, but rather thanks to the pairings of quirky personalities with quirky spaces. And no one has given a more quirky tour than Liv Tyler. Her voice never rises above a breathy whisper, she giggles and smiles ear-to-ear no matter what she is showing us, and at one point she crawls into her attic to show us her action figures. While I have many notes for her home, I have NO notes for this video nor the woman who floats through it.

Honorable mention to the recent Emma Roberts tour where she says her “signature drink is pouring champagne”.

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Take a BEET

Not-Quite-Deviled Eggs

Everyone loves deviled eggs, but nobody loves deviling the eggs. You hard boil the eggs, and you always *start* by removing the shells very carefully, until you get annoyed at how long it’s taking and begin ripping the tiny bits of shell away violently, leaving amorphous egg white lumps hardly worthy of a deviled display.

But it sure is nice when your aunt brings them!!

Take a Beet is here with Not-Quite-Deviled Eggs to bridge that gap between your love for deviled eggs and your desire to never fully devil an egg. Because what is a deviled egg except egg + mayo + dijon/vinegar/paprika/salt? Yeah no it’s basically just that.

Not-Quite-Deviled Eggs “Recipe”

We will start by soft boiling that egg so the yolk remains nice and jammy. (Soft boiling is officially the only way I want to boil an egg, FWIW)

1. Soft boil 8-12 eggs (we’re meal prepping here)

   1. Bring water to a boil

   2. Drop eggs in for 6 minutes

   3. Remove and immediately place in bowl of ice water

2. Peel only the desired quantity of eggs you want for this snack/meal and save the rest for later snacks/meals

3. Slice eggs in half and lay on your plate, jammy yolk-side up

4. Adorn to your hearts’ desire with -

   1. Mayo (req’d)

   2. Flaky sea salt and freshly cracked pepper

   3. SAUCES

      1. Mustard (any kind)

      2. Chili crisp

      3. Hot sauce

      4. Other

   4. Finish off with parsley/dill/other herb and sesame seeds for some fresh crunch

Now, you can scoop those directly into your mouth and let your mouth do the deviling for you! I also like to smash them over buttered bread for a little open-faced sandwich action, in which case a fork is doing the deviling.

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Bits & Bobs from Twitter

I’m with Brain De La Worms on this one - employers mind your business!!!

Babies are officially an ailment per ESPN

Being 60 one day is looking a little brighter now

Pokémon are everywhere for those with eyes to see them (or maybe they’re mostly wherever Lady Gaga is)